A Day in Melvin's World: When Adults Start Speaking the Same Language

Updated: 2 days ago

Melvin's Reflections from the recent Mental Health in Schools Summit

Hi. I’m Melvin.

It’s 8:45 in the morning, and I already feel like I’ve lived in three different worlds.

At home, Mom says, “Use your words.”

At childcare, they say, “You’re okay.”

At school, my teacher says, “Shake it off.”

I know they’re all trying to help me. I really do. But the words don’t match. And when the words don’t match, it gets confusing inside me. Being five can feel like trying to build a puzzle with pieces from three different boxes. I keep trying to make it fit. I want to get it right. But the pieces don’t line up, and I don’t know why.

What it feels like inside me

Sometimes grown-ups call it “behaviour.”

But inside, it feels different than that.

It feels like my body doesn’t know where to land. Like I have to guess the rules every time I walk into a new room. Like I’m always trying to catch up, even when I’m standing still.

When everything keeps changing—words, expectations, reactions—my body gets busy trying to figure it out. And when my body is busy like that, it’s hard to learn. It’s hard to listen. It’s hard to feel okay.

When adults start to understand

I heard some grown-ups talking about this at a big Mental Health in Schools Summit. They said things that made my body feel lighter—like letting go of a heavy anchor and finally being held by something that keeps me safely afloat.

Kids can’t learn when adults are overwhelmed
Teachers need support too
Belonging matters
Kindness and connection are really important
Too many different approaches can be exhausting

I wanted to say, “Yes. That’s exactly it.” Because when everything matches, my body feels different.

What helps me feel safe

It helps when the adults in my life do things the same way. Like this:

At preschool: “I see your body has lots of energy. I think it is time for all of us to go outside!”

At school: “I am seeing lots of friends in the red zone. That means we have too much energy in our bodies right now. How about we all do a quick marching activity together”

At home: “I see your body has lots of energy. What does your body need?”

The words are a little different—but they feel the same. And that matters. Because then my body doesn’t have to work so hard. It doesn’t have to translate or protect me from surprises. It can rest.

And when my body can rest… I can learn. I can listen. I can feel safe.

What makes a difference

Small things help more than you might think:

Using the same kinds of words with me
Sharing amongst each other what works
Saying your feelings out loud to model (“I am feeling frustrated. I’m going to take a breath”)
Keeping things predictable
Connecting home, childcare, and school